Post by SwimModSponges on Oct 24, 2016 10:35:57 GMT -6
COVERED_IN_SPONGES PRESENTS: X-MEN VS ALIENS VS PREDATOR, A FANFICTION WRITTEN BY COVERED_IN_SPONGES
Some of you may know that, back in the day, I was actually a member of the X-Men, and we fought Aliens and Predators. And sure, you hear the stories, but the full tale has thus far never been fully told.
I would like to fix that.
It was a brisk day in late August; there was a slight chill in the breeze which rustled though the foliage around campus. The trees were still full and green from the lush summer which was now drawing to a close. Charles Xavier wheeled through the open courtyard of the academy, admiring the beautiful weather while it lasted. As he and his thoughts meandered, both were struck by a shaft of light which glowed through the boughs of the large white oak tree which stood before him. In the fire of the midafternoon sun, the jade-green opalescence which shown through the leaves revealed tinges of darker hues; a portent of the autumnal change to come.
With this thought, Xavier sighed and turned back towards his office. A new semester was about to begin, and with it came a host of new challenges. Poor bastard had no idea.
“Good afternoon Professor,” said Jean Grey as he wheeled past the room in which she was preparing her fist weeks’ worth of lectures.
“Good afternoon, Jean” he said as he stopped in the hallway. “I trust you’re doing well?”
“Of course Professor, just putting the final touches on my presentation on mutations throughout earth’s evolutionary history. There’s a good chance I’ll be putting a few students to sleep with this one.” She quipped as she added a piece of clip art to the power point she was working on.
Xavier chuckled as he quipped back, “I’ll have to make sure not to schedule your class after lunch then.”
“By the way,” remarked Jean, “On my way back from the printer I ran into a young man who was looking for your office, said he had an appointment with you. “
“I don’t remember making an appointment for today,” said Xavier as he shrugged and wheeled off towards his office.
“Yeah… I kinda didn’t make an appointment.” I said as Xavier wheeled into the room. “I mean, I could have, that goes without saying… I just kind of wanted it to be a surprise, I guess? You want me to start over, I get an appointment, yeah, I could totally do that. But I mean that could kind of screw up the narrative flow, you know what I mean?”
Xavier stared back at me entirely unsure. “I’m sorry, can I have your name please?”
“Sponges,” I replied. “Just call me sponges.”
"Mr. Sponges then,” replied Xavier. “How is it that I can help you today?”
“Hmmm…” I replied. “I’m not sure how to put this delicately. You know, you practice it and you practice it and then when the time comes, the words just don’t come to you…”
“Oh god, I’m not your father am I?” gasped Xavier.
“What? No, hell no.” I replied quickly. “My father is in Wisconsin and works on a potato farm. You ain’t my daddy.”
“Well then who are you?” Xavier demanded. He attempted to probe me with his mind but I decided not to let him.
“You probably don’t want to do that man, just chill all right? This is why I’m trying to be delicate about the whole thing.” I said as he ramped up his psychic defenses. “Come on man, you’re going to give yourself an aneurysm, just relax.”
“Tell me who you are.” He said through gritted teeth.
“Promise you won’t freak out?” I said. “Ok, here goes. I’m kind of like… god? You know? Not the Jesus one or the Bhudda one, but like, the everything one?”
“What do you mean?” he said as he finally began to relax. Well, I made him relax. Seriously, dude’s eyeballs were popping out. Felt bad for him.
“Ok, listen,” I said. “Shit’s about to get heavy. How much do you know about quantum mechanics?”
“Well, I sent my consciousness back in time to talk to a younger version of myself for a short while, if that counts for anything. Logan went back for even longer.”
“Oh yeah, I saw that. Everybody did. Good movie. This is going a lot deeper than that though.” Xavier gave me a strange look as I leaned back in the chair and began my explanation.
“Ok, so… there are an infinite number of parallel universes out there. I don’t mean a bunch of them; I mean an infinite number of them. You see that window there?” I said as I pointed to the window which faced the open courtyard. “There is a universe where that window is two inches wider. Not only that,” I paused for dramatic effect, “there is a universe where that window is two and a half inches wider. And another universe for every single molecule in between. And that’s only one variable on one window. Infinity is truly infinite.”
Charles Xavier gave a slow nod. “Yes I’m familiar with that theory and those are all interesting implications…”
The space where I had been became a void; a black empty nothingness in the shape of me; my voice echoed out from the walls.
“I have the ability… to traverse… the multiverse. I am here… because I have chosen to be here. You are here… because I have chosen you to be here. Earth is here… because I have chosen it to be here. Do you see… this is all of my will.”
I faded back into our shared reality as Xavier stared intently at me from across the desk. “Again, those are amazing claims, but all I have seen thus far could be accomplished through far less astounding means…”
“Take my hand,” I said to the Professor as I reached out across the desk. “Humor me.” I said as he hesitantly put his hand in mine.
At once, the office we had been seated in was gone, replaced instead with the white sand and orange hues of a tropical beach at sunset I turned to see Xavier frowning as the wheels of his chair sunk into the loose sand.
“You could take us anywhere on earth, and you choose a beach.” He remarked angrily.
“Don’t worry,” I said, “the lobster will be along shortly.” As I spoke, a fifteen foot long lobster emerged from the surf and began to scuttle towards us. Using its massive pincers as gently as possible, it lifted Xavier from his chair and placed him atop its back. He was of course, quite unnerved by the experience.
“Come, there’s something I want you to see” I stated as I began walking towards the tree line, the massive lobster scuttling behind with a visibly perplexed Charles Xavier holding on to the top of its shell.
As we approached the forest the sounds of the Baja Men’s “Who let the dogs out” drifted down towards us through the trees. As we came to the foot of the first outcropping of palms, I stopped and instructed the professor to examine the tree. I followed his gaze up the long trunk to the fronds, where his view lingered, mouth agape.
Nestled among the fronds where coconuts should have been, were a tangle of what appeared to be blue plant-like tubes; and on the sides of these tubes at regular intervals were round white protrusions which seemed to stretch the skin around them. The tube ruptures as we watched and an egg the size of a fist fell to the beach below. We turned our attention to the little cream white spheroid as it began to rock. A small crack appeared at the top as the being inside attempted to break through.
“Sorry, I’m impatient.” I said as I picked the egg up and began removing the shell. I removed enough to reach my hand inside and pull out the newborn; it was a bundle of Mcdonalds French fries wrapped in barbed wire. “Be free, little one” I said as I placed the bundle on the ground and it began to burrow into the moist beach soil.
The wind picked up, and with it came the sound of the Baja Men. It was then that Xavier realized that the sound of the wind was the Baja Men. Thunder struck in the distance as a sudden monsoon came over the island; a dense rain of miniature ponies fell from the sky.
“I think I want to go home now.” As he said it, it became; the beach was once again replaced by the familiar sights and sounds of his office. We were once again sitting across the desk from each other. His face looked ashen. “I think I need some tea.” He said finally.
“I think you need something stronger than tea.” I said as I reached into my pocket and pulled out some illegal substances. I handed it to him across the table and he took a long drag. And then another two or three for good measure.
“What now?” he said.
“Well a little bit more mind blowing before we get to the real meat of the issue…” I began to say. He chortled and coughed up a bit of smoke as he cut me off:
“This… That? That wasn’t the meat of the issue? You mean there’s more?”
“Oh, there’s a lot more, hopefully. You see, I’ve got plans for this universe… Big plans.”
“Ooooh fvvvvck.” Xavier said slowly as he exhaled a large cloud of smoke. “That doesn’t sound good. Never does.”
“Yeah… shit’s about to hit the fan pretty soon here, sorry about that.” I shrugged. “If it makes you feel any better it’s going to be really exciting.”
“It kind of doesn’t.” said Xavier as he leaned back in his wheelchair. “So, a mutant uprising, another genocide attempt, robots taking over again… what’s it going to be this time?”
“Well, that would kind of ruin the surprise, I think. But shit’s going to get all kinds of fvcked up in here. We’re talking a strong R-rating; there’s gonna be death, dismemberment, probably a lot of swearing, just general all-around adults only entertainment. I mean, I’m going to be honest, I’m going to be really disappointed if someone hasn’t had sex with a dinosaur by the time we’re all said and done here.” I was grinning from ear to ear as Professor Xavier stared back at me.
“Ah who am I kidding,” I continued. “Of course someone’s having sex with a dinosaur.”
Post by SwimModSponges on Oct 25, 2016 13:20:10 GMT -6
Act 2- The continuation of act 1
Charles Xavier continued to stare back at me with a look that can only be described as a mixture of profound disbelief, resigned anger, passive resistance, and some fairly dank illegal substances. It’s hard to describe, but this is Patrick Stewart we’re talking about here; he can pull it off. The sudden tremolo emitted by the phone on his desk cut into his concentration, but only momentarily. The phone rang again as he turned his attention back towards me.
“You uh… you gonna answer that phone there big guy? It’s probably important.” I said as I gestured towards it. Xavier however continued to stare me down.
“What happens if I don’t?” he asked me, his eyebrows raised.
“Well then I’ll have to find some other way to move this plot along.” I leaned over in my chair, “Or, if you feel like being a contradictory dick about it, they can just call back and we can argue philosophy for like half an hour. Your call, old man.”
“So I still have free will?” the Professor queried.
“God fvcking damnit, are we really going to do this?” The phone fell silent. “Listen- nothing against a good philosophical debate, but we’re dealing with some short attention spans here; my own included. Now, not to spoil anything for you, but I really hyped some stuff up in the opening parts and if I never get to it because I’m sitting here arguing philosophy with a stoned old man… Well that would just be a massive waste, don’t you think?”
“Humor me.” Xavier replied. “Do I have free will?”
“Godfvckingdamnit” I sighed as I leaned back in my chair. “No, your reality is a work of fiction created by people in my universe; first as a comic book, then as a series of movies, and currently as a shitty piece of fan fiction written by myself starring myself. Mostly… for myself… god damn that’s sad. ”
Charles Xavier stared back at me, his mouth wide open in disbelief.
“Oh for fvck’s sakes man, does it feel like you have free will? Well then as far as you’re concerned you have it, why do you have to make it so complicated? I mean yes, everything that’s going to happen is ‘going to happen,’ but you have to realize when I say ‘everything’ I mean literally ‘everything.’ You exist, this is real, as real as everything else, I assure you.” That answer seemed to calm him enough for him to regain his composure. “What else you got?” I asked.
He looked down in deep contemplation, choosing his words carefully. Finally he looked back to me.
“Schrödinger’s cat…” he began “Existed in a quantum state between life and nonlife because it was unobservable.” He looked down briefly before continuing. “The same could theoretically be said for that… place… you took me to; that it may not have existed until we were there to observe it.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “The same could theoretically be said of this place” he said as he gestured to the solid walls of his office. “You say I exist; but is that existence independent of your observation?”
“Wow professor, you’re really making me pull deep into my bag of tricks with this one. All right, let me answer your question with another question.” Taking the form of that cool black void thing that talks through walls, I continued: “I just spent five years in the universe where batman was real… Did you notice?”
He shook his head as I faded back into his reality.
“Well you’re going to poop yourself exactly five years from now when I fade in and ask you the same question. The answer is; it doesn’t matter. Ok, here’s another one for you to chew on Charles; think of it as a Charleston chew (I’m totally getting ad revenue you guys). Do you remember when we were sitting here talking before I took you to that crazy island? Do you think I brought you back to the same universe? Is the grass green here, or is it made of spiders? Oh god, did I bring you to the universe where the grass is made of spiders? I mean, it’s a possibility until you look out that window and confirm that it isn’t, right?”
Charles quickly wheeled over to the window and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the same courtyard in the late august afternoon that he had left only an hour before; entirely bereft of spiders on the lawn.
“You’re just paranoid man, seriously, calm down.” I said from my chair. “Although as long as you’re over there, you might want to measure that window- it could be 2.463 repeating inches wider. You never know. That’s the thing Charles, how many times do you think I’ve come and gone from this universe since the time our discussion began? Do you think I have to do that void thing every time I switch a universe? No, I just do it because it looks fvcking rad. Do you think you’re the same Charles Xavier I was talking to 30 seconds ago? You’re not- I switched universes just to prove a point. Do you think you’re the same Charles Xavier you were when I promised you had free will? You see where that got us? Yeah you lost that privilege, that’s for sure.”
Charles Xavier was currently sitting by the window hyperventilating.
“I’m just fvcking with you man, Jesus; take a goddamn chill pill or some shit. It’s all good; I promise.”
His breathing slowed as he regained composure He took a final deep breath and turned his attention back from the window to me.
“I have a final question,” he began. “Actually, it’s more of a request. “I’m reminded of the quote by the philosopher Epicurus: ‘Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?’” He took a breath before continuing. “If you can truly do anything, why don’t you? So many injustices occur daily, and you have the power to stop every single one. Shouldn’t it be your obligation to stop them? With that much power, surely there comes great-“
“Hey- hey now, we’ll have none of that here.” I interjected. “Spider man is not welcome until he proves to me he can clean up his act. I mean seriously, did you see Electro? All eels and dubstep. Anyways, as you were saying; as long windedly as possible, might I add, you want me to just snap my fingers and fix everything, right?”
“Well, it’d be nice of you,” said Charles with a slow nod. “I mean, if you can, then why not?”
“All right, fine then, whatever. Pow! The world is a paradise. No more greed or hunger, all that John Lennon bullshit. Hooray. Satisfied?” I asked.
“Are you just fvcking with me again?” asked Charles Xavier.
I sighed and facepalmed.
“I’m as serious about this as I have been about everything thus far in our entire conversation. Now will you please answer that fvcking phone?”
Post by SwimModSponges on Oct 26, 2016 11:26:32 GMT -6
Act 3- Things finally start happening.
We both stared down at the phone on the desk, which presently sat silently.
“Hang on, sometimes it takes a bit,” I said as we waited for the ring. "Nah, I’m just messing with you again.” I said and the ringing began. “Put it on speaker.”
Charles hit a button on the telephone console. “Hello?” began Charles “To whom am I speaking?”
“Yeah hey this is Deadpool; I heard someone was having sex with dinosaurs, and uh… well that’s the kind of thing you kind of have to see to believe. Like one of those Mexican donkey shows. Also, word of advice, never buy churros from an establishment that runs one of those things. I mean yeah, it’s convenient because they’re right there, but they seriously skimp on the cinnamon. Not worth the price.”
“Well Mr. Wilson I’m afraid you’ve been misinformed;” Charles began, “No one is having sex with a dinosaur-“
“Yet!” I interjected. “Hello Mr. Pool, would you like me to sign you up for the first round?”
“Tempting,” said Deadpool over the phone, “Unfortunately it looks like I’m going to be up to my nuts in a whole other form of bullshit for the foreseeable future. That’s actually kind of why I called”
“It’s starting!” I said under my breath to Charles as I sat up in my chair, “I’m so excited!”
“What is it Mr. Wilson?” asked Charles while eying me suspiciously “Have you reconsidered our offer to join?”
“Even better!” continued Wade “I’mma get straight-up paid!”
“A while back, a friend of a friend referred me to this really stand-up organization that’s launching a research expedition to Antarctica; see they’ve been looking for some hired muscle just to you know, keep the perimeter and all that, real easy work, you know? Only the thing is, they’re fvcking making it rain like P. Diddy in the Champaign room over here. I mean we’re talking a flat rate contract for the job, plus hourly, plus a sign on bonus- and here’s where you come in; a fvcking sweet referral bonus. Seriously, I just about double my earnings by signing you all up.”
“Wade, we’re not going to Antarctica,” began Charles, the frustration in his voice evident. “First off, a new semester is starting in a few days, and I’m not pulling out half my teachers for a trip around the world.”
“Oh come one,” pleaded Deadpool, “That’s what they make substitute teachers for! You’re friend Sponges there probably already has a bunch of them on the way!”
Xavier looked at me and I nodded. He sighed again.
“Listen Wade, I think there’s going to be a lot more to this than what it seems.” He cautioned.
“Oh come on Professor, it’s Antarctica. I saw it on the Discovery Channel, it’s mostly just penguins. Or wait, was that the Disney Channel?”
“Wade…” Professor X interjected.
“Ok, so when I said stand-up organization I kind of meant really shady corporate entity, and apart from the fluffy adorable penguins, there may be a few mercenaries from competing industries and stuff like that we may need to take out, but I promise that’s mostly it. Mostly. But hey, that’s even more of a reason for you to be here, right? Keep an eye on things? Come on Chuck… what do you say?” Deadpool finished his pitch and fell silent for a moment.
“Does he know what’s going on here?” Xavier asked as he turned to me and pointed down towards the phone.
“Mostly.” I replied.
Charles Xavier let out a long sigh.
“All right, we’re heading to the X-Jet now. Go ahead and send us the coordinates. Goodbye Mr. Wilson.”
Xavier hung up the phone and looked back at me.
“I think I’m going to need more illegal substances.” He said.
eris Deleted Member
Date Registered: May 22, 2018 13:45:47 GMT -6
Post by SwimModSponges on Oct 27, 2016 17:58:46 GMT -6
Act 4- Ok, now it’s really starting.
The X-Jet cut silently through the night as we made our way towards the secret base camp on the coast of Antarctica. I was absolutely thrilled to be there, and grinning like a jackass. Across from me sat Wolverine, staring at me with a troubled expression on his face.
"What’s your story kid?” He asked me finally.
‘Well, I’m kind of like, an interdimensional entity that can pretty much do anything I want.” I said as I produced a plate of hot wings from the air and offered it to him. “There’s ranch, too.” I said as I pointed to a bottle of dressing I had materialized floating in the air next to him.
“Hmh,” he grunted as helped himself to a wing or two “That sounds like a fun power to have” He sat back in his chair and began eating. I materialized some napkins for him as well.
“You see that Charles?” I shouted up to the Professor in the cockpit. “You see what happens when you’re cool about everything? You get hot wings.” Without turning around, he reached his hand up and extended his middle finger in my direction. “Aww don’t be like that man, come on. Yeah whatever.” I said as I returned the bird.
Apart from myself, Logan and Xavier, the cabin of the X-Jet was populated by a full squadron of X-Men. Rogue, who was sitting next to Logan was also enjoying the hot wings. Next to myself there sat Beast, who declined the offer. Next to him sat Jean and next to her was of course Cyclops; who was presently leaning over to whisper something in Jean’s ear.
“Talk about a Mary-Sue” he said with a soft chuckle.
“I’m sorry Mr. Summers, is there something you’d like to share with the rest of the class?” I said to him as he blushed and shrunk back in his seat. “Yeah that’s what I thought.”
“No, you know what?” he said as he began to unbuckle his harness and stand, Jean Grey making a futile effort to restrain him as he did so. “No, I’m going to say something, Jean,” he said as he rose and pointed his finger at me. “You are a Mary Sue if I’ve ever seen one. You just show up out of nowhere one day, and say you can do everything. That’s not how it works. Some of us have spent our entire lives attempting to understand and control our powers…”
“Oh for the love of god Scott, get over yourself. Not everything is about how much you suck. Just calm down and lets all enjoy this little adventure, OK? That’s literally all I’m asking.” Scott started towards me but the jet hit some turbulence and he stumbled face first into Beast’s crotch. He stood up again angrier than before. “Ok, fine, be an asshole about it. You have the count of three to sit down, or I’ll shrink your manbits an inch.”
“Oh ho, you should do it,” said Wolverine grinning. Jean Grey looked horrified by the idea and had by this point unbuckled herself and was pulling Scott back to his chair.
“This isn’t over,” he said as Jean grey quickly buckled him in and made apologetic gestures towards me.
“Five minutes until we touch down” shouted Storm from the cockpit.
“Oh no, Mr. Summers.” I said as I adjusted myself in the seat. “This is only just beginning”
Post by SwimModSponges on Oct 28, 2016 19:49:57 GMT -6
Act 5- Okay, now the intro is done.
The X-Jet began to descent over the large, vaguely militaristic science compound which lay below. The entire facility was swarming with men in uniforms running about accomplishing the multitude of tasks for maintaining such a structure in the extreme weather conditions found at their Antarctic location. We were directed to land in a large open hangar, once there we were greeted by a group of uniformed individuals who ushered us quickly into a large conference room. Deadpool was already there waiting when we arrived, paging through a Hustler magazine.
“Wow, these guys must really know how to stock a waiting room” I said to him.
“Hm? Oh no, I brought this one from home.” He replied, not really taking his eyes off the magazine. “It’s one of my personal favorite issues; I like to bring it with me whenever I’m on a long trip. The articles are just so… inspiring.”
As we all found our seats a pale, chubby gentleman in a business suit entered the room and the lights dimmed. A projector in the ceiling hummed to life and displayed the Weyland-Yutani logo on the screen which was set into the far wall. I could barely contain my excitement.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you all for coming here tonight on such short notice,” the pudgy man began “My name is Thomas Barth, and on behalf of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation, I welcome you to the launch base. Now, your associate Mr. Wade Wilson has vouched for each one of you, however we do require that you sign an agreement of confidentiality before we can continue with this meeting.”
At once the tables in front of everyone lit up with images of pages upon pages of legal documentation.
“It’s all very standard, I assure you, just place your thumbprint on the table top to sign and acknowledge.” Hesitantly, everyone agreed; and with all of their digital signatures in place the projector switched to a different image.
A large satellite map of the continent appeared, covered in lines and false colors measuring everything from altitude to temperature.
“This map is a digital simulation comprised of hundreds of composite signatures from our recently launched satellite tasked with monitoring the condition of the Antarctic ice sheet.” Barth continued. “You may notice, if you examine the map, an anomaly,” He pointed to a large bright green blob in a sea of the purple of the false color map. “This area,” he began again, “was at first written off as a bug in the system; however the fact that it appeared with each subsequent pass of the satellite implies that it is in fact there. Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we may have stumbled on a geological formation that has thus far never been observed anywhere else on earth. I believe this area, roughly 500 square miles of land, is essentially a bubble buried deep beneath the ice.”
“So… you brought us here to protect… a bubble?” asked Wolverine, visibly skeptical of the whole venture.
“This bubble, sir,” began Barth “represents the possibility of a fully self-contained ecosystem which has been shut off from the world for millions of years. It represents an entirely new potential branch of the evolutionary tree. This bubble, sir, represents the greatest scientific find of the century. And as you may have noticed,” Barth gestured to the base and all its security guards “Scientific discoveries are quite competitive things these days.”
“He’s right, you know” echoed Deadpool from a chair near the back of the room. “These days you never know who’s going to shoot you in the back.” And with that, he pulled out a pistol and shot Barth between the eyes.
Post by SwimModSponges on Oct 29, 2016 11:33:46 GMT -6
Act 6- Well that went from 0 to 100 pretty quickly, didn’t it?
“What the fvck?!” shouted cyclops as fragments of Mr. Barth’s skull and brain matter dripped down the projector screen.
Deadpool quickly ran up and plugged a USB drive into the computer running the projection and began downloading files as quickly as possible.
“Well it’s like he said,” Deadpool spoke while typing furiously. “Science is a competitive field. One of his competitors paid me a lot of money to take him out of the running on this. Oh don’t get all judgmental you guys, look around you; we’re clearly in some kind of secret fortress. I’m sure they’re doing all kinds of bad shit here. It wouldn’t surprise me if that Barth guy has like… a closet full of tortured puppies somewhere; seriously, did anyone else get a weird vibe from him?” He paused briefly and looked up at us all: “I bet Barth wasn’t even his real name. Anyways, security should be here right about… now.”
As he spoke, he pulled the USB drive from its port and aimed his pistol towards the door. Two armed security guards attempted to rush into the room but he dispatched of both with ease. He ran to the door and made sure the hallway was clear from both directions before turning to the assembled team.
“All right,” he said as re reloaded his gun, “Now the tricky part will be making it back up to the X-Jet without anyone triggering the-“ He was cut off by a blaring siren as the room flashed black for a moment before the red iridescence of the emergency lighting system kicked on. “Ok, I have a backup plan,” he said as he ran back over to the computer and started typing once again.
“Wait, why are you the one making plans here?” demanded Scott. You’re not our leader; you’re not even part of our group!”
“All right Cyclops, you want to be the one who comes up with the getaway plan, I get that” said Deadpool, “But as far as I see it, we’ve only got about two options here; the first is we fight all the way back through this maze of a base to the X-Jet and hope we don’t get lost or cornered by an enemy with vastly superior numbers and quite a lot of firepower. The second option,” he said with a final click of the mouse as a false panel behind the projector screen opened into a dark passage, “Is we go through there about 45 feet and take the access tunnels out. Totally up to you.” Scott scowled at Deadpool as he motioned for everyone to go down into tunnel. In return, Deadpool gave him two middle fingers.
Personally, I was thrilled. Things could not have been going much better, in my opinion. I insisted on going through the false panel last and sealing it shut behind us as the sound of another group of guards thundered through the hallway outside of the meeting room.
“All right, just like I said,” began Scott as we all hurried into the darkness, “Now that we’re in the access tunnel, we just need to follow it out to the surface and bring the X-Jet to us by remote.”
“Like you said, huh?” remarked Deadpool. “All right then smart guy, let’s just walk on over to the surface; only I have one question. Which way should we go?”
The hallway stretched out into darkness in both directions.
“Jean, Professor,” Scott turned to them, “can you feel anything?”
“No, Scott, there is only darkness ahead, I can feel nothing but miles of ice in every direction.” replied Xavier.
“It’s pretty much the opposite of that behind us, Scott.” Jean Grey stated with a worried expression on her face. “There are at least a hundred soldiers up there heading right for our position. I’ll try to hold them off, but that many… I won’t be able to do it for long.”
“Right, Professor, you help Jean in incapacitating the soldiers,” he pointed as he gave the orders. “Wolverine, can you smell anything?” he said as he pointed to Logan.
“What are you, stupid?” said Wolverine “And also, get that finger out of my face. Xavier just told you he couldn’t sense anything down there but ice. You want to know what I smell, Scott? I’ll give you three guesses.”
“If I may interject,” began Beast, “You may try apologizing to Mr. Wilson, and perhaps deferring to his leadership in this matter?” Scott turned to Deadpool, who was once again flipping him the double bird.
"All right, we’re splitting up,” said Cyclops as he turned back around. “Professor, Jean, Storm, you’re with me; we’re taking the passage ahead of us. Beast, you’re going with Wolverine, Rogue, Deadpool, and… Sponges, down that way.” He said as he pointed in the opposite direction. There was a cracking sound behind us as the seal I had placed on the false wall panel began to rupture; the armed guards continuing their pursuit. The teams separated and ran down their assigned stretch of tunnel in the darkness.
When we had gotten sufficiently far enough away from our pursuers to chance it, Wolverine asked Deadpool: “So which was the correct tunnel?”
Deadpool chuckled before he replied “What, you think I know? I’m pretty much just making this up as I go along.” Both of them turned to me.
“What, you guys think I know what’s going on here?” I said with a wide grin on my face.
Post by SwimModSponges on Oct 30, 2016 10:02:24 GMT -6
Act 7- I know exactly what’s going on here.
“No good! It’s a dead end!” Scott shouted over the communicator. “We’re going to have to fight our way back, and we’re sitting ducks in this open hallway. Excellent plan Wade.” As he spoke, we too reached the end of the corridor.
I gestured to Wolverine and Deadpool before replying. “Now Scott, are you certain that’s a dead end?”
“Of course it’s a dead end,” he replied over the communicator, “I was running full speed through the darkness when I crashed into it.”
“Maybe you want to look more closely at it, you know, see if there’s any kind of hinge or lever?” As I spoke I motioned for Deadpool and Wolverine to do the same. They had the hatch open almost instantly.
“Of course there’s not anything like that,” argued Cyclops. “Just a solid concrete and steel…” The transmitter went silent for a few moments. “All right, we’ve got the hatch open. It seems to be, some kind of control room of a vehicle? Like a submarine frozen in ice?”
“Yeah something like that,” I said. “Listen, just get in and sit down for now, close the hatch behind you. I’ll take it from here."
As I spoke I gestured for the members of my own team to do the same. When we were safely sealed inside, I sat down at a console and began to type. As I typed I explained the situation for everyone. “This is the Ice Bullet Mk I. It is a forerunner to a Weyland Yutani satellite and lander module that will one day pierce the icy crust of Europa.” I pressed a final button and the console began flashing a pair of countdowns. I turned back to face the team before continuing. “The remaining members of our team are currently in the Ice Bullet Mk II, an identical craft currently under remote operation. Now, when these timers hit zero, both crafts will begin firing rockets from the back and lasers from the front. It’s going to be a very exciting time. I would recommend wearing a seat belt for it.”
Everyone scrambled to fasten themselves into the mutli-buckled harnesses which held them in their seats. The last belt clicked, the timers as the timers hit zero. A siren blasted, and an automated advised that the launch process had started. The cabin shook as the rockets roared to life behind us, and in an instant gravity gave out as we were fell forward at incredible speed, the craft cutting effortlessly through the empty space where the ice had been laser melted only milliseconds before.
The automated voice was now counting down the remaining distance until we would reach the outer edge of the bubble.
In an instant we had passed the horizon, the lasers and rockets died as we fell through the open hole and begin to tumble downwards. Small explosions popped off on the hull of the craft, the emergency parachutes deploying.
“Somethings wrong!” shouted Scott over the communicators after hearing the explosions. He was clearly panicking.
“No Scott, nothing’s wrong” I replied.
“Warning, manual override in progress,” stated the automated voice of the craft’s computer.
“God damn it, who let him near the control console anyways?” I said over the communicator as I looked through the port hole to the other craft falling from the sky next to us. Scott was clearly just hitting random buttons. A bundle of parachutes detached from the craft and the whole thing went sideways. “Will you stop hitting buttons and go sit down Scott, please? We’re not out of the woods yet here.”
As I said it I knew it was too late. We began to shake as the landing boosters on both crafts began to fire. Mk II, now off balance due to the missing a parachute, veered away from our craft and began to tumble as the rockets pushed it off course. A proximity warning advised us we were nearing the end of our descent. We all braced for impact as the craft lurched to a sickeningly sudden halt.
Wolverine was the first out of the hatch behind me, followed by Deadpool, then Rogue and finally Beast. Each one stared up in turn at the bright sapphire blue crystalline skyline which stretched out in all directions; the interior edge of the bubble so large that it produced its own atmosphere, clouds formed near the edges of the ice, and condensation was constantly dripping down. The climate itself was warm, hot even; more than likely due to geothermal activity. A massive dragonfly with horns flew by and the group finally tore their attention from the solid sky to be refocused on the environment in which we now found ourselves. They were astounded to see the vista which lay before them. A great green sea of primordial jungle blanketed the floor of this massive expanse, being broken only by the occasional grassland, lake, or upthrust mountain. We had landed on a wide grassy plateau near on the side of a fairly large peak; the altitude gave us a commanding view of the river valley before us. As they stared down in awe at the landscape, a movement in the branches on the other side of the river attracted their attention.
A large creature stepped out from the tree line; its dappled grey-green leathery hide reflecting the coloration of the foliage around it. The creature was approximately 20 feet long from the tip of its broad tale to the end of its beaked snout. It walked on all fours, but upon seeing the smoke rising from our landing site, it stood on its hind legs and gave a low moaning cry.
“Welcome,” I said to the group once they were certain they believed their eyes, “To Jurassic Park.”
Post by SwimModSponges on Oct 31, 2016 18:55:18 GMT -6
“My god,” said Beast, the first to regain his composure, “Is that ah,” he felt ridiculous saying it out loud. “Is that a dinosaur?”
“Ehhh… I mean, there’s a long and a short answer to that question.” I began. “The short answer is yes, that is a dinosaur. The long answer is ‘what is a dinosaur.’ I mean birds are technically dinosaurs, just with millions of years of extra evolution. That’s pretty much what we’re dealing with here as well. Only, you know, not as much bird-like. Are they the dinosaurs that ran around 65 million years ago?” More of the creatures had begun to gather by the water’s edge, including a larger one with blotches of bright blue along his back and a pair of bony crests above his eyes which resembled the horns of a gazelle; a male and his harem of females. “No, they’re way more awesome.” I concluded as the herd ducked back into the forest.
“Hello, is there anyone there? Can anyone hear me?” the voice of Storm called out over the headset.
“This is Wolverine; I hear you loud and clear.” Logan replied. “We lost sight of you guys while we were coming down, what is your current location?”
“I have no idea,” said Storm. “We started to tumble midflight, and now we’re stuck in the branches of a tree in the middle of the jungle. Underneath Antarctica.”
“What’s the status of the team? Did everybody get through ok?” asked Logan
“Jean and I are fine, as is the professor,” Storm replied, “Cyclops has been knocked unconscious, however.”
“Yeah serves him right for messing up my cool freaking entrance. I was hoping everybody would get to hear my Jurassic Park line, but no, Scott’s gotta be a fvcking dick about shit again.” Everyone turned and stared at me, including Deadpool, who was secretly giving me a thumbs up. “Oh he’ll be fine you guys, come on. Just a little bump on the head, that’s all. And let’s not forget, he was the one who started freaking out and mashing the keyboard like some 14 year old hopped up on redbull throwing hate speech around a youtube comments section. Really, he brought this on himself. Anyways, on to the next plot point,” I said. “If you would all direct your attention to the sky-er… bubble-perimeter? Up, just look up.”
Shots echoed across the open expanse as several new holes opened within the ice. From them dropped vessels identical to the ones we had commandeered.
“What exactly are we seeing here?” asked Rogue.
“Those would be MkIII, MkIV, MkV, and MkVI.” I replied. “Man, they are really unloading both barrels on us.”
“How many?” asked Logan as one after another the parachutes deployed on each of the falling modules.
“About 20, maybe less if they brought advanced equipment.” I replied. “All heavily armed and extremely well trained. So, what’s our plan, party people?”
“Hey, don’t look at me, I’m the one who got us into this whole mess,” stated Deadpool. “I nominate Wolverine as leader.”
“Seconded.” I said. “What’ve you got?”
“All right Storm, we need to regroup, and quickly,” said wolverine over the transmitter while looking at the back at the holes in the ice. “Would you be able to fly everyone over here?” he continued.
“That’s not going to be an option,” she said regretfully. “My powers utilize the entirety of the earth’s atmosphere; there simply isn’t enough sky here for me to produce that much wind. I can lift myself ten, maybe fifteen feet at a time here, maybe.”
“Hmm…” Logan frowned as he began speaking again. “Professor, what is your status?”
“Quite alright,” replied Xavier. “Although the angle at which we landed has made it extremely difficult to move my chair,” he continued. “Not that it will be much use rolling over the jungle terrain here I’m afraid.”
“Right,” said Logan. “Professor, I want you to stay there with Scott. Your landing was off course so they don’t know where to look for you. Can you set up some psychic defenses to hide your location?”
“Already done” replied the Professor.
“Good,” replied Logan. “Storm, Jean, I want you to scout out a perimeter,” he continued. “And if you see any dinosaurs-“
“Dinosaurs?!” replied Storm, Jean, and the Professor simultaneously.
“Yeah,” started Logan, as he gave a sidelong glance to me. “There are dinosaurs now I guess.”
“All right then, we’ll watch out for them.” Replied Jean Grey skeptically.
“One last thing before you go,” I chimed in. “In the cabinet to the rear of the cabin, you will find 5 large grey duffel bags. In each, you will find; a gasmask, which you don’t need right now but should probably keep handy just in case; a silenced MP5, complete with ammo; and a bullet proof vest with a tracker and body camera attached. Don’t worry, I’ve already hacked them so that they can’t be picked up by the WY soldiers on their way.”
“All right, you guys grab that stuff and establish a perimeter.” Logan continued, “Beast, Rogue and I are going to suit up and head to your location; turn it into a base camp, dig in and make them come to us.”
“Understood,” said Storm and Jean in unison as they went to equip themselves.
“Wait, what about us?” said Deadpool. “Are you just going to leave us out here like sitting ducks for when the bad guys come?”
“Yeah, that was the plan,” replied Wolverine. “I want to know what we’re dealing with here, and I figure the best scouts we have are the bastard who can’t die and the bastard who is apparently controlling all of this.” He concluded as he crossed his arms.
“I fvcking love your leadership skills man,” said Deadpool as he applauded. “Seriously,” he said as he elbowed me, “Why is he not the boss all the time?”